A helping hand

When people come to me because an inheritance needs to be settled, my work starts with the question whether they had a will. Based on this, a structure is formed to settle cases step by step. In this way, you structurally visualize for people what needs to be done and what is needed. And finally, a certificate of inheritance can be drawn up.

In general, people come to me because problems arise or arguments arise after a death. As a mediator, I am there to keep the peace and to guide the conversation in the right direction. So that people can consult with each other and agreements can be made that both parties can agree to.

Of course, there are also things that can be completed smoothly that I am only involved in because of my experience. In such matters, it is not necessary for me to come to the fore of other parties. Then I only provide consultancy work in the form of coaching and support in the background.

If you really can't work it out together, you will have to litigate. While I can do this too, this will always be a last resort for me. Agreements that can be made in consultation are always more tenable than a judge who makes hard decisions. Then there will always be a party that feels pushed into a corner.

If there is no other option, then it has to be done, but it is better to just make agreements together. Then much more can be arranged and questions can be asked what really helps someone. If you can come to agreements together, this has much more value than a court ruling.

What sometimes touches me in my work is how people can hurt each other in these situations. Because they feel hurt and trapped, even when things are more nuanced. In inheritance law you experience sad situations, I think it would be nice if you could celebrate a life just then. I usually try to focus on the question 'what does the will breathe' and 'what is most in the mind of the deceased'. When I manage to get people to move in the same direction, my day is a success.

Although it can make me very happy when it goes more smoothly than expected. In the sense of reaching out to each other and being able to continue to discuss matters with each other in a normal way. It's so much stronger when you can do things in consultation.

In addition to being a lawyer and mediator in inheritance law and family law, I am also a partner, mother, child and sister of family members. Everything my clients go through is in real life that you are also a part of. People can be incredibly crude to each other and in such situations often fall back into the interactions of the past. It is very difficult to have the conversation about what you have to talk about, namely the respectful settlement of the estate. That eventually succeeds, but it often takes a lot of hard work to get past these patterns. This releases a lot, but it does provide tools to move forward in mediation.