Monday is the day
| 2.7 minutes reading time
Friday;
Hey, are you there again boy? Yes! Mrs. S. looks with an almost happy look and says it's a beautiful day today. Yesterday I spoke to the doctor and Monday is the day. Then I fall asleep. I sit down next to her and first ask if she wants anything. A cup of tea please if it's not too much. I get a cup of tea and the lady starts to tell me.
"We don't really talk that much. At least not about what's to come. "
"We don't really talk that much. At least not about what's to come. "
You know, my son was there yesterday. I notice that he and my daughter are starting to take a heavy toll. Everyone is busy and my son makes that feel a bit too. I think that's a shame. We don't really talk that much. At least not about what's to come. Maybe I think it's too difficult. He's not a talker, never has been. He usually only stays for a very short time. Don't have time. But he's not a hard worker either. Often had problems with alcohol and is way overweight. As a mother, you keep worrying, but I have to let go of that. It's his choice. Also has heart problems. But yes, if you don't live a healthy life and don't let anyone tell you, stay stubborn.... My daughter is different. Hard worker, we have a good relationship. Not cuddling and stuff, as I said the other day, but she does talk. Often sits here all afternoon or morning. Sometimes I sleep with me. You can do that here and I like that. Sometimes I wake up and then I don't know where I am anymore, then suddenly I was anxious but that's over now.
This afternoon my daughter and the doctor will come and then we will talk to each other for a while. Go through some things. What you said about that syringe, by the way, was correct. It wasn't too bad and the pain was gone and I slept wonderfully. We discuss with the doctor how everything is going. I notice that my daughter needs clarity and some kind of planning. That seems to be quite difficult because if they put you to sleep it can take days. You don't regain consciousness, stay asleep and depending on how strong the body is, it can go on for a while. Quite a crazy idea that I won't be here in 4 days. I hope that I will see and embrace my mother then. Would she be older than me, just like before? How do I get there? Am I young and she my mother? Could it be the other way around? Are we like old and are we souls? I'm curious!
"Quite a crazy idea that I won't be here in 4 days. I hope that I will see and embrace my mother then. "
"Quite a crazy idea that I won't be here in 4 days. I hope that I will see and embrace my mother then. "
I will miss our conversations. Really liked that you took the time for me and gave me certain insights. That gives me confidence about the future. Well, future, whatever there is. Sometimes I have doubts, I wonder if I don't want to live for another week or so. The way things are now, it's actually fine. But what I don't want is to be a burden on the children! Are you in doubt? You can decide to wait at any time, right? You know that, don't you? Yes, but my children, I don't know if they don't find that annoying....
You have to follow your gut, I say. It's all about decideing. The door opens and her daughter enters, followed by the doctor. I make room and wish her a nice day. See you on Monday, (maybe.... I whisper softly). Fare you well boy. I'll stop by before I go home to say hello to you.
Doctor's report: Family doesn't take the time.
