Legacy: How do you start the conversation?

'I'm here for people to discuss the legacy,' says Gerlinde. 'I help them to get closer to each other and to really start a conversation. Making respectful agreements is very important in this phase. Fortunately, with good preparation and an open conversation, the settlement of the estate often goes well. Then, as a mediator, I stay more in the background and only provide advice in the form of coaching or support.'

Do you find it difficult to have this conversation with your loved ones? Then About Time offers conversation starters. These are cards that can help you on your way, with the help of questions and tips! About life, death, saying goodbye and mementos.'

'Most of my clients contact me because there are problems or arguments after the death. As a mediator, I try to keep the peace and steer the conversation in the right direction. Because the fact that loved ones argue about the inheritance, you want to prevent that, don't you? What helps with this is arranging things properly in time and recording them in a will at the notary. This will prevent a judge from making the decision about the inheritance.

Wishes about your own farewell are also important. For example, have you ever thought about what your own funeral looks like? And what music, speakers and atmosphere do you want? It is nice for your loved ones if this is properly recorded, so that there is no unnecessary discussion. In the About Time app , you can record these important things, for yourself and for the people you care about.'

'Would you like mediation? Then the first important question is: is there a will? A will provides a good overview and forms a structure to settle matters step by step. A certificate of inheritance can be drawn up on the basis of a will. Do you want to know how this works? Then read the article 'A will, a living will or a written advance directive?'.

Can't figure it out together? Then the last option is for a judge to make the final decision on the estate. Even in this least desirable situation, I try to maintain peace or bring peace back to my clients.

Unfortunately, I experience sad situations in inheritance law. For example, in litigation there is always a party that feels pushed into a corner. This can cause a lot of pain to loved ones. My advice therefore remains: make sure you arrange everything properly on time and keep talking about it. This makes the grieving process just that little bit easier.'

'Apart from being a lawyer and mediator in family and inheritance law, I am also a partner, mother, daughter and sister. A person with loved ones around him.

I often see clients fall back into patterns of the past and lose focus on the legacy. It is sometimes hard work to break these patterns . A lot of emotions are released. But once the patterns have been loosened up a bit, you do have tools to be able to move forward together. If I manage to get my clients to move in the same direction, then my day is a success. You are so much stronger together than you think! This makes my work as a mediator very special.'

Take a look at the page about our conversation starters and discover your life wishes and those of your loved ones.