My first family
| 2.3 minutes reading time
And then get to work yourself.
My first family. Yes, that's how it feels. When you arrange the funeral for a family, it feels like your family. You come into someone's family at an intimate moment. You end up in a very personal and vulnerable situation. You never know how it's going to turn out and what you're going to end up in.
All you know is; who has died and where and at what time you have to arrange. Exciting, driving alone to a house for the first time and pressing the bell and having no idea who is going to open the door? Are there a lot of people or few? Is it unexpected or was the deceased ill? Sometimes you know a little more, sometimes you know almost nothing.
"It's going to be a cremation, that's wild porridge."
"It's going to be a cremation, that's wild porridge."
Ok, here we go: ding dong. A lady opens the door. "Condolences". I hear myself say. I introduce myself and am allowed to continue. In the room at the dining table is a family; A mother, 2 daughters, 2 sons-in-law but without a father. He died. I introduce myself and ask if they can tell me what happened. They talk about their father's illness and how it all went quickly.
Together we will see what they want for a funeral. "It's going to be a cremation, that's what Dad wants," says the eldest daughter. How nice that they know this, I think to myself.
When I ask them later in the conversation if they would like to attend the final care, the daughters say that they would like to do this. Washing and dressing him for the last time, together with someone from our care team, she looks very nice.
Together with the family, we will further arrange the funeral. I ask questions and we discuss what they want and what Dad would have wanted. All parts of the funeral are included. We discuss everything.
"Can it be something with a hiking trail?"
"Can it be something with a hiking trail?"
We also make an outline for the funeral card together, which is always very personal. "What do you want on the front?" Together with the family, we come up with what can be put on it. "Can it be something with a footpath?" the daughter asks. "Of course," I say, "anything goes." We look for pictures of hiking trails, when we see a certain image, a daughter starts crying. "That's it," she says. So then we do that one, exactly that hiking trail.
When I show up on the doorstep the next day with the cards, to put them in the envelopes with the family, I am welcomed with open arms. They love the card! When I then ask how the care had been, one daughter says: "it was beautiful, so beautiful and respectful, I'm glad I did it". The other daughter adds: "I had doubts but I don't regret it, it was very nice to do, dad looks nice".
Well, that's what you do it for, what a grateful and sweet family I have. But it can also be done differently... Then I'll tell you in my next blog article
